just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
