please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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