Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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