I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
