Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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