I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize