Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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