yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How naked do you want me to be?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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