so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
