Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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