dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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