i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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