well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
