So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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