Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
