i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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