i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
