Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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