he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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