I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
