Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
