She said her name was "party"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
