So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
