Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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