508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
