my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
