Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
