guys are not supposed to queef...right?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
