i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
