his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
