he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
