that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
