Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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