you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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