a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
