I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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