I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
