It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
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They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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