it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
