just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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