do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
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If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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