just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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