p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
