yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
