apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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