Who wears a wallet chain?!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she smelled like a LAN party
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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