some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
And then he peed in my hair
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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