oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's official drugs can't kill me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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