I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
