idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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