i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
