dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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