So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
