Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
