You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
