It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
