Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.