How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"