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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

  Fav 3 1602 2019

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

  Fav 10 5273 860

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.

  Fav 40 1308 6137

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

  Fav 11 7416 1376

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pray for you bro.

  Fav 1 555 890

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.

  Fav 6 1999 625

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?

  Fav 2 17 41

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• (530): View more from California

  I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.

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