I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.