I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
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Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.