it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
