My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
