Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
