You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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