I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
