Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
