Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
