i just google imaged poop.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
