I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize