It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
